Grateful for the Unknown

Thanksgiving is an anniversary of sorts for me. I know it’s a strange day to celebrate a personal independence especially when it’s a day carved out for family and gratitude but I’ve never been a traditionalist.

When you spend your life with someone who is not originally from the U.S., you pick and choose your battles on what holidays are more important than others. Thanksgiving slowly became one of those holidays that I decided not to make a fuss over.

In 2007, I had just returned from a month long trip in Morocco. My hands and feet were still henna-stained and I had left my Habibi behind so he could take care of some family business. I was on my own for the first time on Thanksgiving. It would mark the first of many on my own.

I’d gotten several invites from friends to spend the holiday around their tables’ and decided to take up my BFF’s offer to come to the Upper East Side to celebrate Thanksgiving with her, her new boyfriend, and bare witness to her boyfriend meeting her Dad for the first time. Why would I subject myself to this? Because I was the one who was responsible for their union.

Four years, a baby, a marriage, and another baby later these two crazy kids are still together. It’s the third couple I’ve done this for and I’m hoping this trifecta of blessings starts to come back my way one of these days.

You never would have known that a blissful life lay ahead based on the chaos that happened that day. I’m not going to get into details. Why drudge up someone else’s bad Thanksgiving or embarrass anyone? Although, you can ask me for details later.

On the sidelines that day was one of their friends – Jay. I knew Jay for like a hot minute before we had to combine forces and bring peace to the Upper East.

As my BFF and I found ourselves in a situation where we needed a safe house, Jay’s southern hospitality and his “bear” of a dog accommodated us for the night. Jay was about 10 months emotionally ahead of where I was about to be. As he shared his story, something became clear to me. I didn’t have to be here. Not in the physical here but the emotional here. Word to the wise, one night of truth and tough love does not end a nine year relationship. But it definitely made what I thought was a complicated situation, simple.

When I look back on that day what I remember most was the feeling of dread that I had in the morning. My feet dragged as I got ready. All dressed up and not wanting to go, I looked at myself in the mirror. For the first time in years I saw me and I didn’t recognize or like what I saw. I took a deep breath and said, “Come on kid, you gotta go. You never know who you’re gonna meet.”

So on this Thanksgiving I’m grateful for the people I haven’t met yet.