Broken-Hearted Bookends

Some times I feel like my days are not my own.  Lately they seem to be ruled by work, friends, and my dating life. But that all came to a screeching halt last Sunday evening when I got a phone call from my eX.  He wanted to let me know that he has decided to put an offer of a reconciliation on the table. He had apparently done alot of soul searching recently and decided that I am what he wants.  I'm paraphrasing here but he "won't rest until we're together again."

I found this to be amusing for several reasons: 1) less than 3 weeks ago, he texted me that I was whore. All  because I was out at a street fair with some friends, 2) he recently went to Mexico with his hot female co-worker and 3) there's been no grand gesture on his part that would make me think he's even a little bit serious about getting back together.

In my opinion, if you say something as epic as "I won't rest," or "this is what I want," and the classic "our love is stronger than...." then you need to back that shit up with some actions.  Am I wrong?  In the movies when a guy says those things he's either standing in the rain holding a boom box or he's telling your daddy that no one puts you in a corner.  He's not hiding behind the glow of an iPhone screen 12 miles away.

I preceded to tell him over the phone that I didn't think he was being serious.  There were a number of actions he could have taken to get my attention: hand write me a letter, pick up the phone - ask me out, send flowers, or camp out in a card board box on my front lawn with a sign that says "love or bust!"

What a way to start one of the most important weeks of my work life.  I tried hard not to let it mess me up but it did.  I found myself asking friends close to me if they would consider get back with their recent exes.  Most of the women agreed with me - there had to be some type of gesture.  "Actions are louder than words!" was the mantra I kept saying to myself all week.

It made me think about my own actions. So at the end of a crazy week, after two jack & gingers, and a deep soulful conversation with one of my closest guy friends, I reached out to someone I had met a few months back. I did not get a response until the following day.  And this is what it said: "I've spent some time with my ex and we are gonna try again to make it work..."

Cringe! Kiss of Death! Ultimate Blow Off!

Hopefully not.  He couldn't have known the theme of my week.  But in that moment I knew for myself, that going back wasn't an option.  I took that step forward the evening before by reaching out to a new possibility.  As bummed as I was about the news, I still wanted to keep digging for gold.  And in that action was my answer to my eX.